Name Interview: Marshall Goldsmith NAMELYMARLY.COM, MARLY MCMILLEN

It’s interesting that you bring him up as an example because I’ve studied him as well. He began life with the name Paul David Hewson and took on the name Bono when his pals called him that. Bono meant “good voice” and it seemed to be a name that fit him well. He used that name and it seems to me that it was a part of helping him transition to his new musical career.

Well, that is interesting. I had never thought of it from that perspective before but it does seem that the transition of his career and his name worked well. We all can benefit from spending time understanding who we are and what we have to bring to this world.

I notice that two of these areas seem to be in a sort of conflict: Identity and Reputation. Identity deals with knowing who we are and reputation deals with how others think of us. It seems like we can spend a lot of time trying to figure out what others think of us. Sometimes that can show itself in odd ways: spending too much time on emails or Twitter or Facebook.

It’s amazing how much time is wasted on these kinds of pursuits. The top 3 “Twitterers” with the most followers are Brittney Spears, Ashton Kuchner and Taylor Swift. The thing is, people spend time following them and reading their tweets but these people don’t really care about what their followers are saying. It’s all one-way communication. It’s not very fulfilling in the end.

Yes. It’s sort of sycophantic in a way. Following what these people are saying when there’s no way that person is ever going to engage in true conversation. And the biggest concern is that it’s not providing meaningful fulfillment.

It speaks to the importance of deciding how we are going to spend our time.

I noticed in your MOJO book that it references a survey you conducted about MOJO. Some of the same items, say for example a commute to work, were listed as a chore by some people but as an area of success by others who said they used the time to listen to audio books. How can the same item – a commute to work – be listed negatively by some people and positively by others?

It is true that we found this result. Gardening is a good example. Some dislike gardening and do it because it has a benefit. Some dislike gardening and do it because they love the veggies they get as a result. On the other side of the spectrum, some people like gardening and do it without feeling it has a real benefit and then there are others who like gardening and do it because they feel it has a beneficial outcome. It’s all in how you look at it.

It’s all about attitude then? I mean, you said in the book, “Our experience of happiness and meaning in life is influence by who we are – as much as by what we are doing.” It means do you look at that commute to work as a hassle or an opportunity for fulfillment to listen to an audio book?

Yes, attitude is a very important part of MOJO.

Do you find there is often a disconnect between what we want and what we spend our time on?

Absolutely. It’s important that we ask the question, “What will this task bring to me.” It’s crucial to our personal success. What I find instead is a lot of people who want to lay blame on things around them. It’s the company’s fault. It’s the team’s fault. That’s a victim mentality and doesn’t help lead to improved self value.

I really respect what you do as an executive coach because you’re basically in a role of telling people things they may not want to hear, but it’s necessary in order to improve. I think this is a skill that many of us lack – this ability to say things we know others won’t want to hear. But it’s at the crux of every important relationship. Do you have tips to help others to improve in this area?

I think it’s important to focus on the future in these kinds of discussions. For example, when I’m working with a business executive and I observed them leading a meeting that turned out to be a complete failure. When I meet with that person afterwards I realize it doesn’t do much good to talk about all the mistakes made in that meeting. What I’ll say is, “What did we learn today that we can use toward making tomorrow’s meeting better?”

I see. So taking the emphasis off of today’s blunders and directing positive action toward making tomorrow better can help all parties involved sort of rally around a solution.

Yes, exactly.

Back on the topic of names, tell me about how you picked the name Kelly for your daughter?

That’s a great question with a good story behind the answer. My daughter actually went two days without a name because I wanted to name her Melanie, but my wife wanted to name her Mary. We just couldn’t agree. Then finally, the little girl next door said, “I think Kelly is a nice name.” And you know what? We agreed so we named our daughter Kelly.

I love it when parents have a fun story like that to share about how they named their child! Tell me, Marshall, what inspires you?

I am inspired by the fact that I get to do what I love. I’m not motivated terribly by money but I’m really lucky that what I do provides me with a healthy living. I basically do three things: I’m a teacher, a coach, and a writer. As a teacher I speak to both small groups and audiences of thousands of people and I enjoy that immensely.

Do you ever get nervous?

No, I never get nervous before a presentation.

Is that because you do it so much?

Well, that might be part of it but I know plenty of people who speak frequently who get nervous before every presentation. I think for me it’s just part of who I am. I just don’t get nervous.

What is it that you like about the other two areas – coaching and writing?

As an executive coach I work directly with CEOs. I meet with them and get to know them and understand what makes them tick. In some ways this is like one-on-one research because I learn so much from the people I work with about what makes organizations tick. Of the three, writing is not my most favorite area. But I’ve been lucky to team with some amazing writers and as a result my writing has impacted so many people. You can go to www.marshallgodsmithlibrary.com and see that I’ve shared my writing there and it has been read by over 5 million people from 195 countries.

That’s almost every country, right? I mean how many are there total?

There’s about 5 countries that have not read been to my site. Of course, that depends on which list of total countries you’re looking at. Some people have different ideas on how many total countries there are. But basically, there are anywhere from 3 – 5 countries that have not read my work on my online library.

That’s, amazing and certainly a testament to the power of what you’ve written. Marshall, thanks so much for your time today. I’ve been a big fan for years and it certainly has been a pleasure talking with you today.

Thank you, Marly, I’ve enjoyed it too.

Conclusion

Marshall Goldsmith is a teacher and his research, coaching and writing all support sharing stories and results to help each of us grow into a new and improved version of ourselves.

As Benjamin Franklin once said, “Without continual growth and progress, such words as improvement, achievement and success have no meaning.” We can all – young and old – take the words from Marshall Goldsmith’s books to support continued growth in our lives and know what it means to experience true success. A life well-lived.

Marshall Goldsmith has certainly left a big impact on my life and I encourage you to learn more about him, his books, and other exciting adventures on his site.